The thing I under-invested in

Most writing about living abroad treats loneliness as a feeling. Something to push through until it passes.

That framing is wrong, and it cost me years.

Isolation isn't only unpleasant. It's structural. When you don't know many people, you lose access to four things at once. Work. Opportunities. Friends. Health. Every one of those runs on other people, and you've cut the supply.

Here's the number that made it obvious to me. I sent roughly five thousand cold emails and got nothing back. Then I spent one afternoon in a room with people, in person. That one afternoon out-produced all five thousand emails.

I don't say that to sell networking. I say it because the ratio is absurd, and I lived it before I believed it.

The honest version is that this was one of my biggest failures out here. Not the business decisions. The years I spent optimising work while under-investing in people.

It's also worth saying that connecting didn't come naturally. I had to learn it. Opening up about myself. Letting go of the fear of being judged. Actually trying to understand people rather than just being present. It's a skill I built, not a trait I was born with.

Which means it's available to you too, if you're the same way.